


Contemplation and Contradictions

by 0phidian



Series: Late Night Thoughts [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Basically the same tags as part 1, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, It’s sort of mild angst though—, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Self-Hatred, Temporarily open-ended
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25330543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0phidian/pseuds/0phidian
Summary: Logan was somebody who quite enjoyed learning and understanding things, picking them apart and collecting facts and information.Which made the contradictions that were figuratively laid out before him that much more perplexing.
Relationships: n/a
Series: Late Night Thoughts [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834642
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	Contemplation and Contradictions

Logan’s circadian rhythm was bound to go haywire at any moment.

After his long and possibly drawn-out lecture regarding effective altruism, the logical trait had attempted to exit the conversation as discreetly as possible. It was rare that he was required to help settle any emotional disputes, and he generally attempted to _avoid_ icky, complicated human emotions. Logan was somebody who quite enjoyed learning and understanding things, picking them apart and collecting facts and information.

Which made the contradictions that were figuratively laid out before him that much more perplexing.

After he had risen up in his room, he assumed his physical, human form once again— which sparked a thought. Would it be more helpful to interact with the others in his usual 3D form or in his far less (or more? This would serve as Exhibit A of all the contradictions that Logan had managed to find) intrusive “Logan’s Lowdown” form?

He had typed out a list of pros and cons on a Word document, spending hours refining and erasing bullet points until his computer screen was the only light source in the room. And even now, at… what was the time? Eleven at night, Logan decided, squinting at his computer.

(He would later find out that it was actually one in the morning, which he decided not to focus on.)

In a burst of— frustration, was it? Yes, that seemed like the correct word for this situation—, Logan cleared all of the bullet points, leaving him to stare at the blinking cursor as if it would list all of the facts he wanted to know on its own. Logically, it wouldn’t.

The words “3D Form” and “Textbox Form” surrounded by pure, glaring white almost looked like they were taunting him despite the fact that they obviously weren’t. They were words on a blank document. They couldn’t be taunting him.

Perhaps it was the fact that Logan was up at eleven p.m. (one a.m., to be more precise). One of the causes of sleep deprivation was the slowing down of cognitive functions, leaving those figuratively in its grasp far less productive than if they had slept for the normal 8 hours beforehand.

The logical Side stayed rooted to his swivel chair.

Staring at the phrase _3D Form,_ Logan forced himself to type out _”Pro: More relatable and familiar.”_ After a few moments, he continued, _”Con: There aren’t any ‘Skip’ buttons on human beings. It’s far more ~~painful~~ ~~hurtful~~ ~~emotional~~ inefficient for the others to manually tell me that my input is ~~unnecessary~~ ~~unwanted~~ already adequate.”_

He groaned; this evidently wasn’t helping.

_”Pro: There is little to no risk of causing physical damage with the act of rising up (e.g., disturbing Patton’s blinds).”_

Logan really needed to even this out and write something for his textbox form. He wasn’t ignorant of the fact that he did, in fact, have complicated emotions, nor did he push away the fact that he could (and did) hold biases.

Reluctantly, he typed _”Pro: The others are fully allowed to skip my lectures if they wished to.”_ Part of him didn’t really see that as something positive, but he reminded himself that, well, he tended to go on tangents. Tangents of unneeded passion that really didn’t serve any purpose to his host at all.

_”Con: The others may wish to ignore information that is essential to the discussion.”_

Now, _that_ was most definitely biased. How was Logan to know what information was essential and what wasn’t?

On the other hand, how would everyone _else_ know what information was essential? The pros and cons he’d just listed down didn’t even make sense together.

_”Con: There is a higher possibility of physical damage.”_

Logan promptly pushed the thoughts of his outburst during the puppet episode away.

_”Con: My textbox form is far more unfamiliar, which may aggravate other Sides who may not have seen it yet (e.g., Virgil).”_

Upon further inspection, Logan realized that he was simply reversing the pros he’d written for his 3D form. Suddenly, something clicked.

He _wanted_ to use his normal, human form. And as much as he wanted to ignore it, he knew why. It was quite simple, really, in the case that one was looking at the facts.

Solid, logical facts.

For one thing, Logan wanted to be listened to. Something that wouldn’t be guaranteed in either form, but at least in his human form he could at least _try_ to be heard. An endeavor that usually failed, and something that he was trying to accept and get used to.

No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t deny that it still hurt.

Secondly— now, this was far more confusing. In his textbox form, Logan was far less prone to showing his emotions; something that should have been far more appealing than it was. Despite it being a skill of Thomas’, Logan wasn’t the best actor in the Mindscape, which would be evident when using his physical form. So why didn’t that bother him more than it did?

Perhaps it was that nagging, almost imaginary voice in the back of his head that wanted his feelings to be _revealed_ for some odd, irrational reason that Logan knew really was not odd nor— well, of course it was the latter. Emotions weren’t _rational_. They were confusing, nonsenical, made people far more inefficient despite the voice telling him that they were _still necessary_ and they wanted _out_ —

Logan stood up and suddenly slammed his laptop shut. Taking in a sharp, abrupt breath after what he’d done in his frustration, the (hardly) logical Side looked around, trying to make sure that nobody had heard him.

Oh, screw it. Who else would be overworking themselves so late in the night?

As he attempted to regulate his breathing, Logan started walking back to his bed knowing full well that he wouldn’t be able to sleep, not realizing that someone had, in fact, heard him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is longer and yet somehow slightly less angsty than the first part- apologies and thanks to all readers! :D


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